What is a Soulmate? 6 Ways You’ll Know

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What is a soulmate? I don’t know. I’ve read so many things but I don’t know. I know it’s something I’m searching for. I know it’s something I want. Yet still, I cannot define it. Can you?

Life is so amazing when you’re in love. The sky is bluer and the sun seems to radiate more true. Life feels like a dream.

You’re viewing life through rose-colored love goggles. It’s so amazing and so great. Then reality sets in. Life isn’t perfect. Your love isn’t perfect. Instead of pure joy, you start to have to work to keep the love going. And yes, even with the perfect partner, it does take work.

It does take work. There are times when you stand your ground and time when you say this isn’t the hill I want to die on. It’s a give-and-take. There are things you need to do and understand.

1. You Support Each Other’s Dreams And Goals.

Dreams and goals are so important. They are what make you get up in the morning and trudge through the day. If you don’t have dreams and goals, you’re just going through an unhappy existence

You support each other. You get it. You push your love to reach their potential. Their success is your success. If their success is not celebrated, why are you together? It can be tough. You may want to be the breadwinner, but you cannot downplay their success.

Dreams are dreams. Even if you don’t agree. Even if you don’t see eye to eye. You do have to support what they feel is incredibly important.

2. You Can Talk For Hours About Anything

It can be rough. You may have to talk about things in which you have no interest. You have to do it. There are going to be things they don’t care about but will pretend to for your benefit. You have to do the same. This isn’t a burden. This is being in love.

You might be with a fan of things you do not care. You’ll just have to pretend as they will for you. Is pretending so bad? You’re getting to spend time with your love and what is better?

3. Mutual Understanding and Compassion is Par for the Course

It seems so easy and it’s thought to just be a given. But is it really? Is your compassionate understanding more aligned with getting a solution or is its purpose to bring them back to emotionally centered and healthy? Yes, there is a difference here. One says ya, I care a little the other says your feelings truly matter to me.

You’ll find here you don’t argue. You truly listen and regardless of their shoe size, you find a way to put their shoes on your feet. It’s pure empathy where you strive to truly understand what they’re feeling so you can talk in a deep understanding manner.

One of the truly great indicators here is if an argument breaks out. The pain of arguing far outweighs the need to be right. That’s not to say you don’t stand your ground. It means arguments create distance and you strive for closeness.

The greatest part of compassion and understanding is it always leads to forgiveness. Again, you can put yourself in your lover’s shoes and understand how things may have become hurtful. Forgiveness leads to divinity in relationships on top of amazing makeup sex. I’d be telling a lie if I didn’t mention that.

4. You Feel Free to be Without Worries of Judgement

A relationship free of judgment is basically like hitting the lottery. We all want it.
But we all feel insecurities making us prone to feel judged even if we’re not.

Feeling as though you can say whatever, without the fear of repercussions or the huge factor of embarrassment is amazing.

Embarrassment is a huge factor even though it’s rarely talked about because again, we’re embarrassed to admit it. I know I’ve been in relationships where I truly wanted to speak the truth and open up about things and just felt so embarrassed of what the reaction would be when I did so.

I’ve also been in a relationship where I didn’t feel that embarrassment and felt as though I could say anything about my past and my wants and desires. I cannot even begin to describe being able to do say gave me a level of acceptance I cannot even describe.

Many times people will talk about wanting to be understood and I get that. I really do. I want that. The bigger question is how can you be understood if you’re too embarrassed to speak your mind in the first place. Your soulmate, they’ll create this bubble in which you’re free to start speaking in a way to that leads to the understanding you crave.

5. The Love You Give is Given Back To You

A lot of times when we’re talking about being soulmates, much of the talk is about what you do for your love. You can give and give and give and it can feel perfect. But there is a serious question that needs to be asked to separate fantasy from reality. Is your partner doing the same for you as you’re doing for them?

I hope this goes without question I’m not talking about paying for dates or things like that. Circumstances are always different that affect those things. The question I’m posing is on an emotional level, are they putting out the time and energy just the same as you? And is it a chore or is it because they also want this?

I know, this seems so clear. But love goggles can be like beer goggles and greatly distort reality. Sometimes what’s clear to an outside party does need to be asked of the heavily emotionally involved and that’s why I’ve included this in my list.

The answer here doesn’t have to be hugely complex and may not take hours of contemplation. It’s just a simple question are they invested as much in a way that seems to be flowing naturally as you?

6. Soulmates Feel Like Old Souls

The final way you know you found a soulmate is much more difficult to describe. Your soulmate will feel like an old soul. They’ll be brimming with the kind knowledge, wisdom and experience you feel so valuable.

We’re talking about things that do not seem like world-changing knowledge, but at the same time resonate with you on a deeply profound level. World-changing for you need not be world-changing for others.

You’ll find yourself connecting on things that seem so unimportant to others, but to you essentially creates an invisible energy like going heart to heart. To others, it will be nothing. Your friends won’t understand or get this amazing connection. But you’ll know, the feeling exists within you. You’ll feel it. You don’t have to explain, justify or rationalize it. Feelings give you permission to say, “I just know.”



A student of love, relationships and self help who likes to write about and teach what I’ve learned along the way

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Andrew Foster

A student of love, relationships and self help who likes to write about and teach what I’ve learned along the way