We are all searching. We are all searching until we find them. We can try and calm up and stuff our feelings down. But we don’t want to be alone. Who really wants to be alone? Who really wants to have nobody but the superficial to share the greatest moments with?
Being single can be great. You have freedom. You can do as you please with such ease. You can forge out on your own looking for great conquests. What really happens when you’re a conquistador? Do you celebrate your victories with somebody that matters? Or do you celebrate your victories which raising a glass of cheer out of obligation? What are your victories if they’re not shared?
You can feel great, that’s until you don’t. It’s when you realize your bed is empty or is occupied by an empty vessel.
On the Bell curve of introversion, I’m asymptotically close to the most extreme. My victories, even with all my extremely introverted tendencies, are pancake-flat when I have nobody with whom to share the joy.
“A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.” ~ Dawson Leery.
I do believe in soulmates. I don’t believe there’s just one. That’s hard to believe in this world of 8 billion there is only one person for you. I do believe there is the right person for you, that gets you, and more importantly, heals you. Your soulmate feels like home.
I’ve read before from whom and I don’t where, the purpose of relationships is to heal the pain you’ve suffered. Everybody needs healing.
There are signs and signals. The most difficult part is that the heart is not always what the heart wants. Every time I promise you, what the heart needs, turns into what the heart wants.
Satisfying the need of your soul is not settling. It’s going after what you need long-term. Living on delicious ice cream will taste great and satisfy your short time desire, but by indulging as a steady diet, you’ll find your health quickly deteriorating.
1. You are your lover’s cheerleader. You understand their goals. You nudge and sometime flatout push them to reach their goals. Their goals are not their own. Knowing their aspirations, their goals become yours. You may be the backstreet driver, but your lover achieving their goals whether is family or career becomes yours.
You team up. You divide and conquer. You see the areas where you can help and you do it.
You pose a challenge. When you see a road bump, you point it out. It’s not your job to solve the issue, but you point it out when you see an issue. You’re the challenge. You get it and understand it and you point it out in a loving way before cold hard reality does so.
You push for the win, but at the same time, you also point out the reality.
2. You don’t argue or fight. You understand that are things that truly matter to your love even if they don’t mean a hill of beans to you. You don’t argue or fight. You get it. There are some things that matter to your love that don’t matter to you. Yet you suck it up. If it’s important to them, it’s important to you.
Being right isn’t always right. Sometimes being right is saying, ‘this doesn’t really matter to me but it matters to you.”
This is true love soulmate stuff. It’s not always picking your battles. It’s sometimes trying to understand your love’s viewpoint even if you don’t agree. There’s nothing wrong with that. If the world had understanding it would be a perfect world.
3. Conversation flow. You feel like you’ve known each other forever. You may disagree, but the conversation flows. Ideas as well as the feeling flow.
Most importantly, you don’t cut each other off. You listen. You respond in a respectful manner even when you disagree. It can be politics or career, you can have a healthy conversation. You don’t have to see eye to eye on everything, but through conversation, you both come to an understanding of where each other stands.
You don’t challenge differences. You accept them. You look for ways their beliefs can elevate yours.
First and foremost, you never knock down their beliefs. Even if you disagree, you strive to at least understand where your love is coming from.
You speak freely without fear of judgment. You know if your love doesn’t agree, they will still regard with you respect. Respect is needed 100% even when there is disagreement. You trust your partner. You can speak openly and know you won’t be judged. You know you can speak openly even if it makes you love agitated.
No love is perfect. If you’re afraid to speak openly, you don’t have a relationship. You’re working for approval.
I am not perfect and to relationship is. I’ve writing on how we can make these relationships better!