Ladies, This Is An Average Man’s Long-Term Relationship Perspective..B.S. Excluded

Andrew Foster
4 min readMar 4

To Understand This, Listen To Smokey Robinson’s “I Second That Emotion”

I wanted to try and make this a fun read and relatable, so I tried hard to tie it to the jam I’m listening to on repeat! So many relationship articles are dour and fatalistic. Listen to Smokey Robinson, and you’ll “Second That Emotion.” I promise you; you’ll enjoy it much more; if not, you’ll still be down with an awesome tune!

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

Maybe you’ll think that love would tie you down

Photo by Bryson Hammer on Unsplash

Oh baby, yes, tie me up and tie me down! Actually, Dave Matthew’s Band’s song, “Crash” sums it up so much better than I ever could. We’ll introduce some mild bondage here and keep it fresh and hot. You’re the only one I want; believe it or not, I don’t even know the names of Victoria’s Secretes Angels. I know your name, so I ask again, please tie me up and tie me down.

What? I don’t know their names…those models with fake angel wings. I’m more concerned with my dab bod. I want to look like a gym rat for you, but I don’t have those genetics. I can’t do it. But I’ll work hard for a ‘dad bod,’ and hope that’s good enough for you, but I will still feel insecure. I am not and cannot be perfect for you, but I’ll do my best to try because I want nothing more than to be that guy you’ve dreamed of having…even if I have a kangaroo pouch. Yes, I’m an average guy, and these are many true average-guy thoughts laid out in front of you, as embarrassing as they may be.

You might not know it, but my insecurities are no less than yours.

Maybe you’ll think that love would tie you down

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

You may want an open relationship. Believe it or not, I don’t. I only want you. There are a small minority of people where open relationships work and are great. I’m not that tiny minority at all and don’t want to be small to you. Open relationships are great until they’re not; the second you’re…

Andrew Foster

A student of love, relationships and self help who likes to write about and teach what I’ve learned along the way