Don’t Talk With Your Head Full
I’m human, and like most, I get caught up in the moment and say things I don’t always mean. That’s why I’m suggesting starting to write before you talk. You can write a letter the ole fashion way or send one of these new-fangled e-mail thingy-ma-bobs. But you don’t have to. I’m not suggesting you only communicate heated subjects via letter. Writing takes thought, and it also takes time. It gives you a chance to think and collect your thought reviews say what you want to say. You must focus and concentrate your thoughts to get them out or down on paper.
Think about getting angry. Not only does your face turn red, but it also brings so hot you can feel it. You’re grinding your teeth and feel the air turn cool as it hits the sweat starting to erupt out of your skin. You can feel your heart starting to thump in your chest. Every tiny little detail of the situation becomes an irritating annoyance. Your body is preparing for battle. That being the case, is what’s about to come out of your mouth really what you want to say given that fact?
Or the green monster, jealousy. Let’s take a look. A pit forms in your stomach. Not butterflies but the feeling of loss you fear is coming. Your chest flushes and your mouth goes dry. The tides turn between self-confidence and self-doubt. Frequently some instinct kicks in to put down your friend or colleague. Is this the time to speak your mind?
Again, I’m not suggesting you have to write a letter. You can write a journal entry and clarify your thoughts before discussing what’s troubling you. And I do mean write. Don’t just rehearse what you want to say in the mirror. That’s still what’s on the top of your head; you’re just trying to pump up your confidence to say it. Writing it out takes a lot of thought, and you’ll find your thoughts clarify a lot through writing. By the way, texting doesn’t count. That is still saying the first thing off the top of your head.
This is also great in more than conflict situations. Think of job interviews. There are some questions you know you’re going to be asked. Such as why are you leaving your current job? Why do you want to work for us? And my favorite, tell us about a weakness you have. Writing will make you think. Writing is an excellent way of preparing anytime you have to speak.